Wednesday, January 11, 2012

It was a Dark and Snowy Week...

On an awesome writing forum I belong to, we have what's called a monthly blog chain with themes. January's blog prompt is: Winter Nightmare! At the end of my post you'll notice more links from my fellow writer's who are also participating this month. You really should check them out. Happy Reading....

It was a Dark and Snowy Week. No, really, it was. I had spent the past four months living with my then fiancé at his Mother and Stepfather's home in Utica, KY. It was February and the temperature had sunk to below the mid 20s. I was 17 years old and had  ran away from my small dinky hometown in Florida. I had defied my parents, broke their hearts and shocked everyone. 

During this particular cold night in February, we had just returned home from doing last minute errands for our move. We had very recently decided to move back to Florida, plans to leave the following Friday, and had spent the day packing up the small mini van with everything we owned. 

Walking in the front door that evening, the chill from the recent snow fall outside causing us to shiver, we quickly welcomed the warmth of the house. However, the looks on my fiancé's parents faces were enough to stop us in our tracks. Apparently they were angry that we had decided to move back to Florida, and would no longer be getting our $50 a week that we had been giving them. We had broke the news to them two weeks before and they seemed fine with it and even encouraged it. So when they told us to, "get the rest of your shit and get out", it was almost like a slap in the face. 

As we finished packing our things into the van, I asked C, (we'll call him that for privacy sakes), what we were going to do. We had only about $20 to our name until Friday when he was to pick up his last pay check from his job with Tyson Foods. While we had a quarter of a tank of gas, his job location alone was 30 minutes away. He said he didn't know. 

As we loaded up our last box, I had reached a boiling point of anger I never knew my body could obtain. I mean, how could FAMILY do this to us? I grabbed the glass jewlery box that C's Mother had given me for Christmas, slung my arm back and tossed it at the nearest tree. The shattering sound the glass made, as it impacted the tree, actually made me feel a bit better. However it would never prepare me for the week ahead. 

The van's heat did not work unless the van was running, but couldn't run without risking the loss of gas that we needed to use to get the final pay check. That first night we went to C's step sister's house. She said we could only stay one night, but did not want to defy her dad. 

There are a lot of details that occurred during that dreadful week. Too many to try and type in a blog. We spent the majority of the week at the library and a truck stop. We had no where to go. We slept in the van when we could, but mostly spent time wandering around the truck stop closest to C's former job. The $20 didn't last very long, especially because well, C wasn't the most caring guy. He's the reason why I despise smoking so much. Cigarette's were always more important than eating, or bathing to him. Needless to say, while he happily smoked on a pack of Cigarette's that week, I ate a measly pack of Lance crackers. 

Friday finally arrived and we just made it to the Tyson's factory,where C would pick up his check, before our gas ran out. I don't know the lady's name, but she will forever be in my heart for caring enough about us to drive us to a nearby gas station to cash the check, and get gas for our van. That night, before we pulled out for the drive to Florida, we got a hotel room. Safe, warm and had the best shower any homeless person could really hope for. 

It's really hard to write about this time of my life. It's hard to look back and remember the man that while I did eventually marry him, I also divorced him a year later. I was young, stupid, and thought I knew what I wanted in life. He treated me horribly, and this whole ordeal should have been a sign of what the next year that I spent with him would be like. 

Because of this Winter Nightmare, I have a soft spot for true homeless people. I know what it feels like to not bathe for a week, to not have anything to eat, and to see the bottom end of people's nose's as they look up snobbishly at you when you clearly need help. I also have a hate for anyone who smokes, or anyone who is so selfish that they would ignore the real needs of their loved ones, for something that they would rather have. 

I'm stronger for this, and I am better for having lived through something like this. But the nightmares I have during cold weather, when problems arise and family turn their backs on you, it throws me into such a deep depression sometimes I never know if I'll ever come out OK. I have to, I need to, and this nightmare taught me that. 

Thank you for reading about part of my life. 

A firm believer in, "That which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."

Other Blogs to read in the Blog chain :)

MamaStrong (you are here)
Alpha Echo

*Links to other blogs to come soon*


  1. Beautifully written! I felt like I was right there experiencing all!
    If you do plan to write a book, I suggest one on your life. It may not always be glamorous or exciting, but it would really get people to understand you, how you got to where you have today among many other things!

  2. I also have to add, I love love love the look of your blog!! Better job than I could have done :)

  3. You are one of the strongest people I know, to have come through something like that. *hugs* Thank you for sharing your story.

  4. You've outgrown a lot to be able to write these experiences. I think the honesty will gain you many supporters, including me!

    Keep your chin up and always help when you can, just because you know the good it spreads. :)

  5. wow this is rather moving, and just goes to show how 'Young' we can all be

    Like you say mistakes are part of the journey and they overall make us a better person

    Matt (Turndog Millionaire)

  6. That was really a nightmare experience. I'm glad you got that selfish guy OUT of your life.

  7. Wow, that's terrible. How scary for you. I can't imagine being in that position. You're right. We make so many mistakes when we're young. But those mistakes become irreperrable only if we don't learn from them. Which you obviously have. Great post! Thank you for sharing, for being so honest and putting yourself out there for the world to see what a strong woman you've become.

  8. Very touching story. It takes a strong person to write such an emotional part of their life. Thanks for sharing!

    1. Blogger keeps eating my comments! I swear it is determined to prevent me from acknowledging your work, perhaps out of spite because I use Wordpress.

  9. Thanks Everyone. I'm starting to think I should write an autobiography or something. There's worse stories than that in my 28 1/2 years of life. Thanks for all of your feedback. I look back today and think, "what on Earth was I thinking?"

  10. Thank you for sharing this with us! I think writing an autibiography is a good idea, even if it's just for yourself in the end.

  11. That you can write about it now and even more, have the courage to share with strangers means you've turned a bad situation into a building block or stepping stone.
    Well Done.

  12. Wow, absolutely stunning. Your post took my breath away. I'm glad I joined this chain.

  13. I found this a touching story, especially because I could relate to the feeling of making a mistake marrying someone and getting divorced a year later. I liked it how, although the story was one of pain, depression and anger, the theme was positive and uplifting. Being set in wintertime added to the sensation of being stuck and desperate. Good job!

  14. It's funny the things we do when we're young. I'm glad you made it through this dark time in your life.

    Sounds like you truly experienced a winter nightmare. Well done.