It was a Dark and Snowy Week. No, really, it was. I had spent the past four months living with my then fiancé at his Mother and Stepfather's home in Utica, KY. It was February and the temperature had sunk to below the mid 20s. I was 17 years old and had ran away from my small dinky hometown in Florida. I had defied my parents, broke their hearts and shocked everyone.
During this particular cold night in February, we had just returned home from doing last minute errands for our move. We had very recently decided to move back to Florida, plans to leave the following Friday, and had spent the day packing up the small mini van with everything we owned.
Walking in the front door that evening, the chill from the recent snow fall outside causing us to shiver, we quickly welcomed the warmth of the house. However, the looks on my fiancé's parents faces were enough to stop us in our tracks. Apparently they were angry that we had decided to move back to Florida, and would no longer be getting our $50 a week that we had been giving them. We had broke the news to them two weeks before and they seemed fine with it and even encouraged it. So when they told us to, "get the rest of your shit and get out", it was almost like a slap in the face.
As we finished packing our things into the van, I asked C, (we'll call him that for privacy sakes), what we were going to do. We had only about $20 to our name until Friday when he was to pick up his last pay check from his job with Tyson Foods. While we had a quarter of a tank of gas, his job location alone was 30 minutes away. He said he didn't know.
As we loaded up our last box, I had reached a boiling point of anger I never knew my body could obtain. I mean, how could FAMILY do this to us? I grabbed the glass jewlery box that C's Mother had given me for Christmas, slung my arm back and tossed it at the nearest tree. The shattering sound the glass made, as it impacted the tree, actually made me feel a bit better. However it would never prepare me for the week ahead.
The van's heat did not work unless the van was running, but couldn't run without risking the loss of gas that we needed to use to get the final pay check. That first night we went to C's step sister's house. She said we could only stay one night, but did not want to defy her dad.
There are a lot of details that occurred during that dreadful week. Too many to try and type in a blog. We spent the majority of the week at the library and a truck stop. We had no where to go. We slept in the van when we could, but mostly spent time wandering around the truck stop closest to C's former job. The $20 didn't last very long, especially because well, C wasn't the most caring guy. He's the reason why I despise smoking so much. Cigarette's were always more important than eating, or bathing to him. Needless to say, while he happily smoked on a pack of Cigarette's that week, I ate a measly pack of Lance crackers.
Friday finally arrived and we just made it to the Tyson's factory,where C would pick up his check, before our gas ran out. I don't know the lady's name, but she will forever be in my heart for caring enough about us to drive us to a nearby gas station to cash the check, and get gas for our van. That night, before we pulled out for the drive to Florida, we got a hotel room. Safe, warm and had the best shower any homeless person could really hope for.
It's really hard to write about this time of my life. It's hard to look back and remember the man that while I did eventually marry him, I also divorced him a year later. I was young, stupid, and thought I knew what I wanted in life. He treated me horribly, and this whole ordeal should have been a sign of what the next year that I spent with him would be like.
Because of this Winter Nightmare, I have a soft spot for true homeless people. I know what it feels like to not bathe for a week, to not have anything to eat, and to see the bottom end of people's nose's as they look up snobbishly at you when you clearly need help. I also have a hate for anyone who smokes, or anyone who is so selfish that they would ignore the real needs of their loved ones, for something that they would rather have.
I'm stronger for this, and I am better for having lived through something like this. But the nightmares I have during cold weather, when problems arise and family turn their backs on you, it throws me into such a deep depression sometimes I never know if I'll ever come out OK. I have to, I need to, and this nightmare taught me that.
Thank you for reading about part of my life.
Signed,
A firm believer in, "That which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
Other Blogs to read in the Blog chain :)
Orion_mk3
MamaStrong (you are here)
pryosama
Turndog-Millionaire
Alpha Echo
LilGreenBookworm
Domoviye
writingismypassion
Other Blogs to read in the Blog chain :)
Orion_mk3
MamaStrong (you are here)
pryosama
Turndog-Millionaire
Alpha Echo
LilGreenBookworm
Domoviye
writingismypassion
*Links to other blogs to come soon*
